Monday, August 09, 2010

The Gay Mexican

Well, in a sense, I'm a gay Mexican. But that isn't what this entry is about.

A few weeks back, I was in a bar in the Castro while waiting for friends to arrive. I used to clam up at the thought of being alone in a bar, but I got over that over time with an improvement in social skills and self esteem. So while alone and sans alcohol, I just observed the crowd and listened to some good tunes [*untz untz untz*].

Next thing I knew I felt my chest being groped. I looked to my right and this man in what appeared to be in his late 30's had a grin on his face. I'm not gonna lie, he looked like a creepy guy slash potential child molester.

There was something about him that made me want to talk to him to see what he had to say. Normally, I'd just scadadle on my merry way after asking their name and politely finding an exit strategy.
The mystery man was like, "You [pronounced like "Jew"] have a nice chest. Are you from here?" I said yes and asked where he was from. He was from a small town a few hours from Mexico City but used to be a professor at Diablo City College in the North Bay of San Francisco. He hadn't been to San Francisco since 2002. He was here for a conference on the "Law of Attraction." Okay, first sign he wasn't a total creepster just out to touch man pecks.

I asked more about his background and it turns out he has a Ph.D. in Electrical or Computer Engineering. He asked me about myself and my background. I let him know that I'm also Mexican but that I was curious as to what it's like to be Mexican and Gay, in Mexico. He said it was hard because he's in a smaller town and there are no gay specific bars. You kind of have to guess who's gay and hope you're right. Otherwise you could totally offend someone and pay the consequences. He also said it's kind of fun in a sense to guess. It's always a mystery. He also said most gay men to try assimilate into a masculine sensibility.

We probably had a 30 minute conversation. He even asked why I was single. He kept on saying, "You look like Ricky Martin. You are so handsome." He repeated that a few times throughout the conversation. Funny enough, that's not the first time someone thought I looked like Ricky. I don't really think so, but I find it flattering.

He finally asked me to dance, but I didn't really feel like it at the time.

In the end, I learned a lot that evening, quite unexpectedly, mainly because I didn't discount someone purely based on appearance.

The Gay Mexican re-invigorated my passion to learn more about my Mexican Heritage and finally travel to Mexico. It's too bad there is so much political instability in the country, or I'd be there on a plane tomorrow. NPR reminded me last week of this with their story, "Amid Mexico's Drug War, A Rush for Bulletproof Cars." I'd like to practice my spanish and learn what the local culture is about. I'd be curious to see what being gay is like in the country as well.

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