- Amanda pulled through. My friend who got into a terrible car accident with little chance of survival from her doctors came back strong. She just recently blogged live from the Hospital Room. I knew she'd pull through because she is one tough cookie!
- It's a small world. Good people know good people. Having many worlds from different time periods of my life collide at once is highly entertaining to say the least.
- Communication is key. I'm thrilled that I have good friends who can be really honest with me, even when they know I'll be hurt. I've had to have conversations that I'm not quite used to, but I'm glad I did in the end. My whole outlook has changed for the better.
- Captain obvious is usually right. No matter how much you're in denial, the obvious will always end up being true. One's intuition can be ignored, but in most cases is spot on.
- Sleep is lacking. I had a surprisingly hard time sleeping in LA. I got around 4-5 hours a night, and not very good sleep at that. Not quite sure what it was, but something felt off.
- Shopping is hard. Especially when it's an all day excursion. I think I'm much more of a get in get out kinda guy... most of the time. Although, finding good deals amongst piles of crap is always fun!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Intense Break
I've had a good week off work during the holidays, but it's been really intense in many respects, both mentally and physically. I'll write a more detailed entry later, but in short:
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I know she'll pull through
One of my Livejournal (LJ) buddies, Amanda (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
mandalvn ) was in a serious car accident on Dec. 22nd. I'm keeping track of updates from her husband. The doctors said the chance of survival initially looked grim. She has a subdural hematoma that was caused by multiple skull fractures. They were able to remove the hematoma, however there is a lot of swelling in her brain. Her femur was also shattered while trapped in the car.
She's a strong woman who's been through hell and back in life and I know she can fight this. Girl, keep fightin'! You're in my prayers. :)
Last Update: She squeezed her dad's hand even though she's unconscious. Good sign. :)
mandalvn ) was in a serious car accident on Dec. 22nd. I'm keeping track of updates from her husband. The doctors said the chance of survival initially looked grim. She has a subdural hematoma that was caused by multiple skull fractures. They were able to remove the hematoma, however there is a lot of swelling in her brain. Her femur was also shattered while trapped in the car.She's a strong woman who's been through hell and back in life and I know she can fight this. Girl, keep fightin'! You're in my prayers. :)
Last Update: She squeezed her dad's hand even though she's unconscious. Good sign. :)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Dating Mind Game with Mr. X & Y
Over the past 5 or so months, I've really only talked to two-ish guys (beyond the guy I actually 'dated' more seriously, mentioned in my previous entry about running into exes).
The first of whom , let's call him Mr. X, I met in the beginning of the summer '08. Mr. X is a guy I would place in the 'hot' category. Definitely in the upper echelon physically. We had our fun hanging out with each other both with friends and alone. I felt like I was putting in all the work, setting up dates and dinners, whereas he'd just accept. On top of that, he really can't communicate on a 1:1 basis. Nor would he open up about what was going on in his life. Most of his responses would be 5 words or less. So my friend Ty advised me to 'lay off' and see if he 'notices' me not being around. I took his advice --- and it took Mr. X two weeks to get proactive and send me a text without me being the one to initiate. It read something like: 'Hey How you been? Haven't heard from you in a while.'
Bammo. That's pretty much what I needed. Ty was like 'Fuck that shit.... you snooze you lose!' So that text pretty much answered my question of 'Hey I'm interested, but you really should be doing all the work still.' However, I'm now in the 'He can set up something if he wants, but I'm not putting in any more effort' mode.
So during those two weeks in October where Mr. X didn't proactively communicate with me, I met Mr. Y. I met Mr. Y in person at a club, just by random chance. What was interesting was that was the first time I went to a club in a while just to have fun with friends, with no intentions of checking people out for a date and whatnot. So I was in a really good mood because the music was fun and I was having a blast with people who surrounded me.
Truth be told, the moment I laid my eyes on Mr. Y, I thought, 'Who the hell is he?' in my head. He was what I would place in the 'Urban Adorable' category. He's not muscular in the way Mr. X was, but he had an urban style and a really cute face with a smile to match.
I noticed Mr. Y checking me out too in the corner of my eye. It would be one of those 'Look and then immediately turn your head so he doesn't notice me looking' kinda deals. We would both be dancing with our distinctive friend sets, as you do at clubs. We both were doing the eye glances to each other for a good 20 minutes before Mr. Y made the first introduction. I thought, 'Fuck, the dude actually came to me. That's a change. A proactive guy.'
We actually chatted and flirted for a good hour or so off in the corner away from both of our sets of friends. I'm pretty sure we were both sober, which was really refreshing, too. Around two hours into flirting, chatting and casually dancing with Mr. Y is when things got more interesting. That Hip Hop song that goes like 'Put your back into it, put your ass into it...' came on. I asked Mr. Y, 'Should I should follow directions?' =P He didn't oppose by any means. So we do a little grinding and dirty dancing. By the end of the evening we were making out. Mr. Y was a good kisser, too. I kinda didn't want the evening to end. (Not in that way, pervs). I would have wanted to chat a bit longer to get to know Mr. Y. We exchanged phone numbers.
He had to go back to the East Bay and I had to drive back down to the South Bay. I sent him a 'good night' text. Turns out he left his phone at his friends place, so I didn't hear from him for a while. He ended up getting a new fancy phone because his old one was decrepit. I asked to see this new fancy phone in person. (Ahem... setting up a date.)
Side note: I got near immediate feedback from Ty asking, 'Why they hell did it take 2 freaking hours to start grinding with Mr Y? We were all waiting for it to happen!' My answer: I'm shy. Plus, I'm not super aggresive in a club context. Back to the regularly scheduled program...
Let me tell you, that first date with Mr. Y took foreeeeeeever to get going. I would estimate a good month. In the meantime, we texted and chatted and whatnot. There were holidays and conflicting work/school schedules for a while. We've hung out a few times alone and in groups again. I've enjoyed every moment of it.
Strangely enough, people assumed we were an 'item' from the very beginning. I said 'I wasn't opposed' to him. Haha. But anyways, anytime I go out now people ask 'Where's Mr. Y?' or 'How are you and Mr. Y doing?' People are following us like a hawk apparently.
What I like about Mr. Y is that we met naturally (nothing felt forced) and I feel comfortable around him. I felt we clicked from the get go. Also, his friend set is completely different than mine, although, we both have met some of each others friends.
Ty doesn't want me to jump the gun. My problem now is balancing (1) Letting him know I'm interested and that I care with (2) Not overwhelming him. 'Mr. Y would be a dumbass if he didn't know you were interested,' exclaims Ty. Ty also wants me not to fall into the trap I had with Mr. X, where I was putting in all the effort and the other person wasn't setting up dates.
If you know me well, you're clued in that I'm not the most confident guy out there. That's due to a variety of reasons. When guys don't respond to me or get proactive, I start to really doubt myself and whether or not I'm worthy of a guy. It's sad, I know. I constantly feel like I'm playing a Mind Game.
My other friend Danny always proclaims, 'Why the hell aren't guys just straightforward? If you're interested, just say something! No one is fucking forward with anyone anymore in SF.'
Ty really wants me to just 'Chill.' He uses that term because I tend to freak out really quickly with guys. I really trust Ty because (1) He's Smart, (2) He's had multiple long term relationships, (3) He's not been single for over 3 years. Plus, he's kinda like a Celebrity in the Gay Community. He knows everyone.
Ty suggests a few things for me:
Not to toot my own horn or anything, but deep down I know I'm a great catch. Mr. Y just needs to get on it!
The first of whom , let's call him Mr. X, I met in the beginning of the summer '08. Mr. X is a guy I would place in the 'hot' category. Definitely in the upper echelon physically. We had our fun hanging out with each other both with friends and alone. I felt like I was putting in all the work, setting up dates and dinners, whereas he'd just accept. On top of that, he really can't communicate on a 1:1 basis. Nor would he open up about what was going on in his life. Most of his responses would be 5 words or less. So my friend Ty advised me to 'lay off' and see if he 'notices' me not being around. I took his advice --- and it took Mr. X two weeks to get proactive and send me a text without me being the one to initiate. It read something like: 'Hey How you been? Haven't heard from you in a while.'
Bammo. That's pretty much what I needed. Ty was like 'Fuck that shit.... you snooze you lose!' So that text pretty much answered my question of 'Hey I'm interested, but you really should be doing all the work still.' However, I'm now in the 'He can set up something if he wants, but I'm not putting in any more effort' mode.
So during those two weeks in October where Mr. X didn't proactively communicate with me, I met Mr. Y. I met Mr. Y in person at a club, just by random chance. What was interesting was that was the first time I went to a club in a while just to have fun with friends, with no intentions of checking people out for a date and whatnot. So I was in a really good mood because the music was fun and I was having a blast with people who surrounded me.
Truth be told, the moment I laid my eyes on Mr. Y, I thought, 'Who the hell is he?' in my head. He was what I would place in the 'Urban Adorable' category. He's not muscular in the way Mr. X was, but he had an urban style and a really cute face with a smile to match.
I noticed Mr. Y checking me out too in the corner of my eye. It would be one of those 'Look and then immediately turn your head so he doesn't notice me looking' kinda deals. We would both be dancing with our distinctive friend sets, as you do at clubs. We both were doing the eye glances to each other for a good 20 minutes before Mr. Y made the first introduction. I thought, 'Fuck, the dude actually came to me. That's a change. A proactive guy.'
We actually chatted and flirted for a good hour or so off in the corner away from both of our sets of friends. I'm pretty sure we were both sober, which was really refreshing, too. Around two hours into flirting, chatting and casually dancing with Mr. Y is when things got more interesting. That Hip Hop song that goes like 'Put your back into it, put your ass into it...' came on. I asked Mr. Y, 'Should I should follow directions?' =P He didn't oppose by any means. So we do a little grinding and dirty dancing. By the end of the evening we were making out. Mr. Y was a good kisser, too. I kinda didn't want the evening to end. (Not in that way, pervs). I would have wanted to chat a bit longer to get to know Mr. Y. We exchanged phone numbers.
He had to go back to the East Bay and I had to drive back down to the South Bay. I sent him a 'good night' text. Turns out he left his phone at his friends place, so I didn't hear from him for a while. He ended up getting a new fancy phone because his old one was decrepit. I asked to see this new fancy phone in person. (Ahem... setting up a date.)
Side note: I got near immediate feedback from Ty asking, 'Why they hell did it take 2 freaking hours to start grinding with Mr Y? We were all waiting for it to happen!' My answer: I'm shy. Plus, I'm not super aggresive in a club context. Back to the regularly scheduled program...
Let me tell you, that first date with Mr. Y took foreeeeeeever to get going. I would estimate a good month. In the meantime, we texted and chatted and whatnot. There were holidays and conflicting work/school schedules for a while. We've hung out a few times alone and in groups again. I've enjoyed every moment of it.
Strangely enough, people assumed we were an 'item' from the very beginning. I said 'I wasn't opposed' to him. Haha. But anyways, anytime I go out now people ask 'Where's Mr. Y?' or 'How are you and Mr. Y doing?' People are following us like a hawk apparently.
What I like about Mr. Y is that we met naturally (nothing felt forced) and I feel comfortable around him. I felt we clicked from the get go. Also, his friend set is completely different than mine, although, we both have met some of each others friends.
Ty doesn't want me to jump the gun. My problem now is balancing (1) Letting him know I'm interested and that I care with (2) Not overwhelming him. 'Mr. Y would be a dumbass if he didn't know you were interested,' exclaims Ty. Ty also wants me not to fall into the trap I had with Mr. X, where I was putting in all the effort and the other person wasn't setting up dates.
If you know me well, you're clued in that I'm not the most confident guy out there. That's due to a variety of reasons. When guys don't respond to me or get proactive, I start to really doubt myself and whether or not I'm worthy of a guy. It's sad, I know. I constantly feel like I'm playing a Mind Game.
My other friend Danny always proclaims, 'Why the hell aren't guys just straightforward? If you're interested, just say something! No one is fucking forward with anyone anymore in SF.'
Ty really wants me to just 'Chill.' He uses that term because I tend to freak out really quickly with guys. I really trust Ty because (1) He's Smart, (2) He's had multiple long term relationships, (3) He's not been single for over 3 years. Plus, he's kinda like a Celebrity in the Gay Community. He knows everyone.
Ty suggests a few things for me:
- Chill. Don't overanalyze. (I think it's nearly impossible for me)
- Get a hobby. I don't really have a solid one right now. I do 'things' but I really should have a solid hobby.
- If not a hobby, join an organization.
- Instead of worrying about Mr. Y, surround yourself with friends. They'll help you keep your mind of him.
- Have Mr. Y get proactive. If he snoozes, he loses.
- Date Multiple People at the Same Time. This one is particularly hard for me. Ty thinks it will then be survival of the fittest. I personally feel like I'm cheating. Well, mind cheating at the very least.
Not to toot my own horn or anything, but deep down I know I'm a great catch. Mr. Y just needs to get on it!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Those Vietnamese Boys
For some reason I get poked A LOT by Vietnamese Guys on Facebook. Especially ones with last names of Nguyen.
Just Sayin...
Just Sayin...
Running into Ex's
When you date, you'll inevitably gain an ex. Thankfully, I've always had amicable breakups on good terms. Still, the moment you randomly run into an ex is going to feel a bit awkward.
Rewind to Saturday Night. I went out to a Holiday House Party in the Castro at Ryan's Place. After the House Party, Jesse, Ian, Leo, Richard, Jordan and I headed to Lime for some hip hop. (Side Note: You know when Lime is now your Hip Hop destination, something is a bit off. Both Jet and Transfer are being remodeled).
On the walk from 19th/Castro to Lime, I bumped into Peter, who i dated for a few months during the summer. He was with another white guy --- who I can only assume he's dating. I gave a wave (mainly because it was cold) not expecting a stop/catch up talk. I don't think Peter recognized me at first. Probably because I was wearing a Santa Hat. Anywho, Peter got (overly) excited -- even doing a little mini jump in the air -- and made the effort to actually stop and say hi. We exchanged brief words and moved on.
It was definitely nice to see him because we didn't break up in person. It was just a little awkward because of (1) His Reaction, (2) It was really cold, (3) I was with a group of people but didn't introduce him.
After we continued our trek to Lime, Ian had made a comment like [insert sarcasm] 'Wow, you couldn't tell he was gay at all, huh?' He saved himself by adding... 'He was cute, though!'
Rewind to Saturday Night. I went out to a Holiday House Party in the Castro at Ryan's Place. After the House Party, Jesse, Ian, Leo, Richard, Jordan and I headed to Lime for some hip hop. (Side Note: You know when Lime is now your Hip Hop destination, something is a bit off. Both Jet and Transfer are being remodeled).
On the walk from 19th/Castro to Lime, I bumped into Peter, who i dated for a few months during the summer. He was with another white guy --- who I can only assume he's dating. I gave a wave (mainly because it was cold) not expecting a stop/catch up talk. I don't think Peter recognized me at first. Probably because I was wearing a Santa Hat. Anywho, Peter got (overly) excited -- even doing a little mini jump in the air -- and made the effort to actually stop and say hi. We exchanged brief words and moved on.
It was definitely nice to see him because we didn't break up in person. It was just a little awkward because of (1) His Reaction, (2) It was really cold, (3) I was with a group of people but didn't introduce him.
After we continued our trek to Lime, Ian had made a comment like [insert sarcasm] 'Wow, you couldn't tell he was gay at all, huh?' He saved himself by adding... 'He was cute, though!'
Saturday, December 20, 2008
All I want for Christmas...
So it's that time of year. Last minute Holiday shopping as well as getting and receiving gifts from famiy, friends and loved ones.
I think you hit a certain age where "things" start to not matter. Material possessions, while nice, aren't what's most important. Of course, retailers don't want us to think this way, eh? Especially in this economy.
So it's inevitable you get the 'So what do you want for Christmas?' question from family and friends. Sure, I'd be nice to own a couple of more DVDs or a new digital toy.
But really, what do I really want?:
I think you hit a certain age where "things" start to not matter. Material possessions, while nice, aren't what's most important. Of course, retailers don't want us to think this way, eh? Especially in this economy.
So it's inevitable you get the 'So what do you want for Christmas?' question from family and friends. Sure, I'd be nice to own a couple of more DVDs or a new digital toy.
But really, what do I really want?:
- A true relationship; Boyfriend if you will.
- To travel outside North America for the first time. Experience cultures I've never thought I would.
- New memories and experiences with my friends.
- More time with my immediate family. I never get to see them, since I live in Northern California and they live in Southern California.
- More adventures with friends that are not in the Bay Area. I'd love to spend a lot more time with my High School friends, my College Friends, friends I met while living in Ann Arbor and Washington DC and other Travel Adventures.
- TIME in general - Time to read a book. Time to explore new hobbies. Time to actually watch DVDs. Time to work out. Time to have dinner with friends. Time to date. Time to myself. etc. etc.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Happy '3 Years Of Living in the Bay Area' To Me
Yesterday was my 3 year anniversary of moving to the Bay Area. It also so happened to be my Mom's birthday.
It's really hard for me to believe that:
It's really hard for me to believe that:
- I've survived living on my own for 3 years
- Lived in Sunnyvale for this long
- I look completely physically different since I moved
- I've worked at the same company for this long
I really do love the Bay Area. I foresee myself living here for quite some time. I'll most likely live in San Francisco at some point in 2009 if I still have a steady income. Truth be told, I really like Sunnyvale, too. Even though there really isn't anything to do in the city itself beyond going to Target. (Which FYI will be knocked down in January '09... so what do I have to live for anyway?)
I love it when friends visit!
Yesterday I got to have dinner with Seymour and Ritchie, who are up here for the week from So Cal. Ty, Danny, Mark and I met up with them for dinner in the Castro at Thai House Express. It's sort of our 'Go To' restaurant for solid food for a good price. We then headed to The Mix for some drinks and lastly ended up at The Midnight Sun . Fun times all around... especially dishing about boys and watching funny clips at The Midnight Sun.
So here's an interesting friendship connection story...
I used to use Livejournal.com like a madman during my youth. It was a way for me to escape, make online friends and share my thoughts. Then one day I came across Seymour's Journal. He was a Med Student in the UCR/UCLA Med School Program. We both wen to UCR, but didn't know each other while we were both there. Seymour was technically the first person I uttered (errr... typed) the words 'I'm Gay' to. Well, Margaret Cho was the first person I said something that 'implied' I was gay, but Seymour got the full deal. Haha. We started to hang out in person and became really good friends.
Flash forward to Dec. 2006. I meet Seymour and Ritchie at the Abbey for some drinks to catch up. Ritchie had brought some of his friends... including his former roomie Ty. Now, I don't know any Ty's. Except I had recently seen that a 'Ty' had joined Google and I sent him a welcome message on Downelink. Turns out, it was the same Ty, except I didn't really connect the two.
So the chain goes like this ---> Seymour ---> Ritchie ---> Ty.
Over the past few years I've become really good friends with Ty. We share advice. I probably would have gone nuts without bouncing boy talk off of him. So yea... It's interesting how small the gay community is, especially between Northern and Southern California. I'm happy that good people know other good people. Yay!
So here's an interesting friendship connection story...
I used to use Livejournal.com like a madman during my youth. It was a way for me to escape, make online friends and share my thoughts. Then one day I came across Seymour's Journal. He was a Med Student in the UCR/UCLA Med School Program. We both wen to UCR, but didn't know each other while we were both there. Seymour was technically the first person I uttered (errr... typed) the words 'I'm Gay' to. Well, Margaret Cho was the first person I said something that 'implied' I was gay, but Seymour got the full deal. Haha. We started to hang out in person and became really good friends.
Flash forward to Dec. 2006. I meet Seymour and Ritchie at the Abbey for some drinks to catch up. Ritchie had brought some of his friends... including his former roomie Ty. Now, I don't know any Ty's. Except I had recently seen that a 'Ty' had joined Google and I sent him a welcome message on Downelink. Turns out, it was the same Ty, except I didn't really connect the two.
So the chain goes like this ---> Seymour ---> Ritchie ---> Ty.
Over the past few years I've become really good friends with Ty. We share advice. I probably would have gone nuts without bouncing boy talk off of him. So yea... It's interesting how small the gay community is, especially between Northern and Southern California. I'm happy that good people know other good people. Yay!
Mark, Seymour, Ritchie, Me & Ty @ The Midnight Sun
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Opinion: The Auto Bailout
I know with the economy the way it is, people are really struggling to find their way financially, including the US Auto Industry. The American Majority is against bailing out the Auto Industry with $14 Billion Dollars. I know the citizens would probably rather see that money go to a different use, especially during these economic times.Having lived in Michigan during late 2007 / early 2008, I understand how crucial the Auto Industry is to their economy. It's actually kind of surreal living there. You drive around everywhere and everyone is driving an American Car. It's sort of Anti-American not to be doing so. You definitely stick out. In Ann Arbor, where I lived, only the yuppies and out-of-state college students would sport a Japanese or German car. But the rest of Michigan drives American. I drove a Pontaiac Grand Prix for 3 months. The thing was ginormous and got like 13 miles to the gallon. I'm just glad my commute was short.
Having grown up in Los Angeles, arguably the car lover capital of the United States, where there are 7.5 million cars for a population of 13 million, it's not uncommon for car conversations to take place. Most of those cars talks are about the latest from Germany or Japan. No one really think 'You know... I'm so excited for that Chevy Silverado!'
I know it's not the case for everyone though. The older generation, for example, can still be passionate about buying American. Take for example my Grandmother. She's a bit stubborn in that she'd never drive a Japanese Car, even though we'd love to see her in a Honda Accord or Toyota Camry. Instead, she chose to drive a newer Chevy Impala. Before that, she drove an Oldsmobile.
So my way of thinking is torn. Do I believe in survival of the fittest and innovation (what school and business teaches me) or do I believe in the lives, culture and local economy that would be affected without a bailout?
I read article in the New York Times such as 'City of Detroit, buckling under repeated blows, sustains another hit' and you start to see the human side of what Detroit would be without an Auto Industry. After going to Detroit on many ocassion, driving through that city even with the Auto Industry is depressing. If the Auto Industry died, that city would suffer a catastrophe. A quote from a local restaurant owner further humanizes this by saying, “We get all kinds of business from auto workers. “If the companies don’t get money, Detroit is done for.”
But then the business side of me kicks in. I start to think, Why has the American Auto Industry not pushed innovation and forward thinking? Yes, you have cars like the Chevy Volt coming out. But with innovative brands and ideas, such as those from GM's Saturn division of cars, stalling and becoming generic everyday cars, you start to wonder whether or not the Big 3 will push innovation and survive even with a $14 billion dollar bump.
In the end, I don't think it's fair to bailout the American Banks and not the Big 3 Auto Companies. I feel like as if you're going to bailout one, you should bailout the other. However, I really don't feel bailing out either was a good decision. America was built on innovation and forward thinking. I feel like a bailout pushes forward stability rather than innovation.
Maybe American Companies just need a good kick in the pants? Or maybe just a prayer (as indicated in included photo)?
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