Saturday, January 17, 2009

Getting over guys

I haven't been in long enough of a relationship to know what it feels like to get over a guy. If I get rejected or something fizzles, it usually takes me about 3 weeks to a month to re-coop and adjust.

I've only had 3ish month relationships, so I'm not sure how I would handle a breakup of a year +. I often have to sympathize with friends who've been in 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 year relationships when they end. I'm sure it's no fun. In many of those cases, I feel like you're gonna need at least a year to recoop to feel like you're ready for another relationship.

I'm not quite sure I envy the feeling of friends who've gone through this, but even my short stints of having to get over a guy hurts. I can only imagine the pain my friends have gone through when they have a breakup of long term relationship.

What I do know is that if there is one side with feelings, it's probably best to not be in contact with your ex. It's like a constant reminder of what could have been. Sure, people say 'Oh... we can make being friends work out.' I beg to differ when the breakup is over a long term relationship when one side still has feelings. It's not to say down the road when both sides are more healthy that it's not possible to be friends.

In particular it's really hard to give the above advice (re: cut off contact) to friends who've had long-term relationship breakups. It's not what they want to hear. But I think it's the best solution and what the doctor would order...

2 comments:

letopho said...

my ex of 3.5 years moved to japan. recovery was a cinch!

Will K. said...

Haha. I guess there isn't much to do in that case, right?