Wallpaper.

Last weekend at Nightlife at the California Academy of Science in San Francisco, the band "Wallpaper." performed outside on patio deck as part of the pre-party for the Treasure Island Music Festival. They were SO FUN. I loved them instantly. It's sort of like a slightly updated version of Jamiroquai. Good stuff.

Here is a music video for "I Got Soul, I'm So Wasted."

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It's A Cold War

My roomie Danny showed me this Janelle Monae video last week. It's gorgeous. Nearly made me cry myself.

Kind of summarizes how I'm feeling right now:

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The Freedom of Not Caring

He's finally got me to a point where now even I don't care.

Over 4 years of friendship and now I don't even care. I will always care about him as a person, but i really just don't care anymore about saving anything. He's too fucking stubborn and only sees things rationally independent of any emotional context. I have yet to figure out how to communicate in such a way that he will ever understand my point of view. But it's a challenge of communication that I would be up for solving as way to help improve my personal communication skills.

The ending of the friendship has affected my ability to access mutual friends but I'm gonna fight to maintain the relationships I've built independent of him.

Sides definitely feel like they've been chosen. People probably won't view it that way on an individual basis, but it's the feeling that I get. If there is an event, he will definitely be invited and I won't. I've already seen many cases of this. The feeling definitely sucks. Really sucks.

But life will move on but now feel like I have a sense of freedom. This will get better. It will get better.
One day I hope we go back to being friends. That day... I have no idea when that will be.

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A simple text message

I got quite an unexpected text message this evening when taking a stroll through the Sunset around 7pm. I looked at my phone and I got a text from Michelle, whom I internally refer to as "Yohana's Candian Doppelganger."

I haven't seen her since my recent trip to Toronto over July 4th weekend. I met her originally on a trip Toronto in early January of 2010 with Antony, Albert and Brian. Michelle and I were like magnets. She sat down at our table and we shared a pitcher of beer. Her personality was so engaging that we could talk forever. We fed off of each other. She has her own lingo ("isms" if you will) that works just for her. (e.g. "It's off the chain.")

The text:

Will, it's Michelle -just out for dinner with the crew and we were talking about how rad u are! Happy wednesday!

I mean, who takes the time to send a text message like that? I couldn't help but smile. I nearly cried. Simple moments like that are what I treasure. To only think we've met twice in person and have a connection like this is quite incredible.

<3

Michelle and I during Toronto Pride 2010. She made me some lovely virgin Sangria!

Weather Juxtaposition

Today a heat wave continued in the Bay Area, with SF hitting 90 degrees again. I drove up 19th Ave. on my way home from work, with the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance, only to see the fog roll in around 6pm. I haven't seen the fog in a few days. The heat wave is officially over, at least for San Francisco.

I arrived home to my apartment with a weird juxtaposition in temperatures. My apartment still thinks it's 85 degrees outside (i.e. hot and stuffy despite the windows being open) when in reality it's in the 60's, cold and misty.

Oh San Francisco, I heart thee. Even your bi-polar weather.

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Din din with Jon Jon

I've been having dinner with my friend Jon Jon more frequently because I enjoy his company. Not that I haven't previously, but I'm making more of an effort cause he's an awesome guy. More Jon Jon time is a good thing.

Yesterday, we celebrated the good news of him getting a new gig at DNA Games. He previously worked at YesVideo for a 5 year run. He's now moving to a job that fosters his true passion in creativity. Go Jon Jon! :D

Do you know the even BETTER news? He's gonna be my work neighbor. Yes, he's only a couple of buildings down from me in San Bruno. He, along with Eric To, work right near me at YouTube. More outside of work lunches slash guest lunch visitors! Weee. So excited. :)

Jon Jon and I usually meet somewhere in between San Bruno and San Jose when we have dinner. This time we conquered Palo Alto, on the last episode, we conquered Castro St. in Downtown Mountain View. Since he'd been baking cupcakes (his cupcake interpretation of Philz Mint Mojito Coffee) up a storm this weekend, he wanted something lighter. So we went for Sprout Cafe, on the southern part of University Avenue. I'd been twice before -- both on uncrowded off-peak weekend hours. This time, it was a super crowded weeknight with lots of strollers and students. Sprout is like an upscale Pluto's --- except with better ingredients, selection, presentation and atmosphere.

I ordered the Asian Chicken Noodle Soup and the Steak Sandwich. I wasn't feelin' salad for dinner as I usually get it for lunch. Jon Jon got the Summer Rolls with chicken and a salad with seared tuna. We also shared their guacamole. (which was HELLA bomb, actually maybe borderline magical)

We concluded the evening with a stroll around Downtown PA and some tart Fro Yo (which melted quickly) at Fraiche. I ran into my co-worker Stef, who also works in HR. We sat in the courtyard and continued to talk. Jon Jon later went his "productivity party" with Mark. I like the idea of "Productivity Parties" because it's essentially how I studied in college. You go to a cafe, squat in a corner with several friends and crank out work. You don't really socialize but it's the mere presence of being around those you love. I should do that more. :) Neil used to tell me about these "parties" as well.

Anywho, I took a few photos while at Sprout Cafe (via my cameraphone)...

ASIAN CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP From Sprout Cafe Palo Alto

GUACAMOLE From Sprout Cafe Palo Alto

STEAK SANDWICH From Sprout Cafe Palo Alto

SUMMER ROLLS From Sprout Cafe Palo Alto

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Fingernail Fiasco

A co-worker in a nearby cubicle broke a fingernail. She used nail clippers and I think my whole side of the building (HR) just squealed. What is it about that noise? I think it was just the fact it was at work. I think my whole team gave the nail clipper shit for about a good 5 minutes. My bosses' reaction was precious.

So, if you're gonna be a work nailclipper, do it outside or away from others. :D

It gave us all the creepers. Expect some squeals from girls and gay boys if you choose violate this work norm.

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Sac Town Nights

Last night, Kevin and I boarded my 2001 Honda Civic and drove to lovely Sacramento, California.

It was my friend Sean's 22nd Birthday celebration. Someone was a little late to his own 10pm partay, but I can forgive that.

The night started out at the Mercantile Saloon, affectionately called "The Merc" by locals. Can I just say how much I loved this place? The indoor portion is total dive bar, but the outside patio is quite lovely, especially when the weather is good. It reminded me of a mix between a dive bar in San Diego, the vibe of Fiesta Cantina in WeHo with patrons that could be found in the midwest. The place was plentiful with drag queens, mostly of the latin flavor. One had a full on seniorita status dress and looked like she was on her way to a bull fight.

The great thing about this bar is that when you order drinks, you get the choice of two sizes. The tallest size is $8, which is quite cheap considering it's about 3/4 alcohol. It'd estimate a good 2-3 shots minimum. I didn't drink very much last night, but the drink I did have got me all warm and toasty. Oh, yay for being a cheap date.

Josef, who goes to grad school at UC Davis, joined us and well all later scurried on over to Badlands Sacramento. It's clean, polished and very open. It has tremendously high ceilings and a big 'ol disco ball. The upper level has a lounge and an outdoor patio, to boot. The music was pop/hip hop/remixes. Cover was $7, which isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

After Badlands closes at 2pm, people go next door to the connected bar called "The Depot." This totally reminded me of Hawaii's Angles/Fusion setup.

Josef was hungry so we all went nearby to Hot Rod's, which is the nearest late night grub around Sacramento's boyztown area. A funny little thing happened in there. The guy in line in front of us was like "You... You're Will from San Francisco." I was kinda confused. He was like "I've checked your ID before." I was even more confused. So he musta been a bouncer at a bar in the city. I asked where he worked and he said "Badlands." So yea, it was kinda weird but flattering nonetheless. The number of people that go into those bars and he remembers who I was. Anywho, I asked him whether or not Badlands in Sac was affiliated with Badlands in the City and he said no and that they have different owners. So there ya have it. Mystery solved.

We then tried to go over to Sean's friend's place but that wasn't very successful. We all parted ways and gave everyone lots of hugs. Kevin and I were then on a mission to find my car. Um... that took a while to say the least. At this point, it was probably 3am or so. We ran around Sac like little tourists. People in cars and on the streets did offer to help on occasion, which is pretty nice. We eventually found my car and made our way home. I got fairly tired around 4ish am, which was the halfway point. So I pulled over in Vallejo and slept for a few hours. Kevin was too tipsy and tired to drive.

Around 6:30am, Kevin and I continued the drive and ended up in San Francisco by 7:30am. I dropped him off in the Richmond and I went back to The Sunset. I woke up around 12:30pm. Kevin late texted me and we both LOL'ed at his incoherent text messages from last night. Twas an epic evening.

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Words to tears

It's no secret that I'm an emotional guy. However, I don't cry very often. Tonight, I cried. Words brought me to tears.

For the third year in a row, I participated in Google's BOLD (Building Opportunities through Leadership & Development) Mentorship Program. The first two years I tag-teamed with Nai in mentoring college interns. This year, I was solo. More on this year's experience in another entry.

Last year, Nai and I mentored Laura. She's from Florida and goes to the University of Florida. She's upbeat, friendly, adventurous and LOVES to salsa dance. Nai and I met with Laura weekly over lunch or some other casual way to discuss her projects, interests, schooling and social life. However, the last conversation we had when we parted was one chalk full of advice on from both Nai and I.

This year, Laura came back to intern at Google, but in a different department and with different mentors. After the BOLD finale dinner tonight, she came to find me and pulled me aside. What happened next made me so emotional, I didn't even know how to react.

She said:

"Will, I just wanted to let you know that words you said to me last year stuck with me. I know we didn't get to see each other much this summer. I also don't know if you even remember saying this, but when we were outside over there <points to the outdoor seating area at Crittenden>, you gave me an image that hasn't left my mind. Do you remember that Spaghetti analogy? You told me try a wide variety of things until you learn what sticks. Just like when you throw Spaghetti against the wall to see if it's properly cooked, you'll eventually learn what sticks. I've really taken that to heart and have been living that idea daily."

I do remember saying those words. To be honest, Inever thought she would remember those words. One doesn't become a mentor to get praise or affirmation of taking advice. One becomes a mentor to pass on knowledge that they've learned from others or themselves. It's a cyclical process that eventually helps everyone.

I cried after she told me that my words stuck true to her. I let her know it meant a lot to me. Mainly because very rarely do people take the time to let you know when you've impacted their life. I let Laura know that I plan on visiting her in Florida sometime soon. (Hello, AYCJ!) We swapped contact information again, too.

I also don't think that mentees realize how much they help give their mentors perspective. They help us reflect upon the past and look into the future. For that, I'm grateful.

Will & Laura, BOLD Intern Cruise 2010

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All You Can Jet: My Future Travel Buffet

Yesterday, JetBlue announced they would be doing "AYCJ" (All You Can Jet) for a second year in a row. Presumably, it's to get our attention off of the Steven Slater flight attendant scandal. Nice PR attention switcher there, JetBlue.

They have two different flavors this year, the AYCJ7 ($699), which is good 7 days a week, or AYCJ5 ($499), which is good 5 days a week, excluding flights on Friday and Sunday. It's essentially unlimited travel to anywhere Jet Blue flies domestically with taxes/fees included from Sept. 7th, 2010 to Oct. 6th, 2010.

I went with the AYCJ7 for $699. I'm actually still shocked I committed to this.

Why Did I Get It?

Well, I'll actually be going to NYC, one destination JetBlue flies, for work from Sept. 7th to Sept. 17th. I can presumably get a portion of this comped by work. I have to go to LA on the 18th for a relatives 85th birthday. Then I plan on taking some time off to relax and roam around the country. So basically, I already had plans to travel but didn't book quite yet.

I've still yet to decide where I'll be on my birthday (Thursday Sept. 23rd) and Birthday Weekend (Sept. 24th to 26th). Now I've never been a birthday celebrator, but friends have been amazing at surprising me the past two years (and I cried both times). I'm not really counting on anything, as I never really have, so I may just be solo.

What Am I Going To Do With It?

Well, the first part of the month will be for work. But presumably, I could have dinner in a nearby East Coast city close to NYC just to check it out.

After that, it's up in the air. I have > 20 vacation days. I think this could be really fun!

During the next week, I'll research where JetBlue flies. Part of me really wants to see Seattle, Austin, New Orleans, Boston & parts of Florida. I also wouldn't mind visiting friends in DC or Chicago. I also would love to check out random ass places as well. :)

I could potentially visit other places that aren't domestic (Costa Rica, Columbia, Mexico, etc), but I would have to pay the taxes and fees.

If you have any itinerary ideas, please shoot them at me!

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Business Articles That Translate To Everyone

I love the Harvard Business Review blog. It's always an interesting read. It's common to have HBR Case Studies for business and MBA classes, but they are often long and dry.

The HBR Blog articles are short and powerful. They also translate to situations outside the business world, which makes them all the more useful.

Here are a few interesting reads:

• The Best Way To Handle A Power Struggle: The general idea of the article is the following... Getting defensive and try to gain power almost always doesn't work. Instead of trying to use power you don't have, appeal to the generosity of the person who actually has the power. People, when asked and respected, will often willingly do the exact thing they're refusing to do when they feel like you're pushing them.
• How To Avoid (and Quickly Recover from) Misunderstandings: The general idea of the article is the following... Listen carefully. It doesn't matter who's right. It only matters how we communicate, connect, and collaborate. Other good points:
  • Who's responsible for making the first move to clear up the miscommunication? Whoever sees it first.
    
  • How do we know when there's something deeper and more significant going on? What should you do? Don't slam the other person for making no sense. Don't accuse him of being unreasonable. And don't make the mistake of telling [them] what [they're] really trying to say. All of that will backfire. Instead, even if you think you know what's going on, ask a question. When someone expresses a request, demand, assertion, or thought that doesn't seem to make sense, resist the temptation to react. Instead, pause. Ask yourself what's going on. Ask the other person.
    
• Living Life As An Experiment: The general idea of the article is the following... Living life as an experiment allows you to take more risks, learn how to fail and develop. The example used in this article highlights the concept of the first article I listed above on power.

 

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Interesting thought on Gay Marriage

I happened to be on my sister's Twitter and saw the following image. It made me smile slash laugh. It also has a good point. ;)

I'm actually surprised my sister posted this to be honest. She always used to cringe whenever I would mention the word "gay." I think she's been surrounded enough by LGBT's over the past few years, including myself, to be educated on our perspective. I remember when she told me when her really good friend started to date a girl after being in a relationship with a man and having a kid. I think at that moment, the tide turned for her. One of these days, I'll get her out to a gay bar. Shit, I've had to go to sporting events with her....

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Simple advice on friendship complications

I walked into my bosses office today to discuss some of the recruiting efforts I'm working on. Last week I wanted to grab coffee with him because I felt a lot of stress.

I mentioned to him a bit of what's going on in my personal life, mainly because it's been affecting my work habits. I know you should check that stuff out at the door, but it's not always so simple.

He gave me an anecdote of a friendship that went sour with Preston. He and Preston had been friends for a few years. They ended up getting into a huge fight over boyfriends and how often they invited the other one out. For example, my boss would be paired with a guy and would continue to invite Preston out to events and gatherings even though he was single. When Preston was paired up and my boss was single, it was a different story. This was the situation on the surface level but escalated into much more.

They got into a huge fight and my manager hung up on Preston and never picked up his phone calls for a year. After a year, they ended up working at the same company and Preston reached out to my manager to have lunch. Even though they hadn't talked in a year after a huge fight, they picked up their friendship like nothing happened. The main difference was that my boss didn't invite Preston out to events as often as he once did.

Essentially my boss conveyed time was the healer. That I can understand. I went through a situation with my best friend from middle school (and eventual college roommate) where we hadn't spoken to each other after a year or so after a huge tiff. We eventually picked our friendship like nothing ever happened. We still talk to each and visit each other often, even though we're not in the same city any longer.

I guess I'm just impatient with the current situation but am getting over the immediate need to have a resolution. I dislike conflict heavily (Oh, Libra traits...). I'd rather fight than flee. However, not everyone operates the same way.

Things get super complicated when friend sets are shared as well as living close in proximity to one another.

After not speaking to each other for over a month (on top of a few months of a rocky friendship prior), I'm ready to talk again. I honestly just hope he's doing okay and that he's getting the support he needs. I know that we're both retreating. It's incredibly hard for me to not know what's going on in his life since we were both each others go-to-guys. It's also hard for me not to reach out to him and ask for advice on things, especially since I'm going through a whole bunch of shit outside of this friendship complication.

It would be nice to have a time machine right about now...

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The Benefits of a Hiatus

I can say that it's been a blessing having been a little MIA for the past month. I've caught up on sleep for one thing. It's helped improve my mood exponentially.

I guess the theme of the past year is that I've overexposed myself to too many things --- in a way spreading myself too thin. I got burnt out pretty easily as I didn't have enough me time. I think a lot of that stems from a few different things. First, I've only really had a social life for the past 3 years. 3 years out of 26 (well, nearly 27). To use an analogy, I was kinda like a kid in a candy store and just stuffed everything in my mouth because I never really ever had candy, but always heard about it. Secondly, I admittedly have an addictive personality. I tend to go to extremes before re-calibrating and finding a balance.

The past two days I've gone out socially and people have been very very kind often mentioning positive words. They've said things along the lines of "It's been too long. It's nice to see you out." or "You're looking really good." or "Keep up the good work." or just... "Why haven't I seen you?" "What have you been up to?" It didn't really matter so much to me as to the content of what people said, but it was nice that they took a second to think about me or engage with me. I've always tried to do that with others.
Some things that have changed (re-calibrating, if you will), resulting in a postive self image and mood improvement:

• Less exercise - Sounds sort of unintuitive, right? I've actually been less anal about this than I have in the past. Not to say that I don't exercise, but I'm okay with missing some days, especially when my body is telling me it's tired. I'll try to make it up in some fashion --- walking outside more and taking mass transit rather than driving. I don't think I've quite found a proper routine yet, but I'll be figuring that out soon.
• More sleep - I've been sleeping earlier, resulting on average about 7 to 8 hours nightly. I've also been waking up earlier, which leads to a fairly clear mind in the morning. I'm now one of the first people into work instead of one of the last.
• Less consumption of food - There was a period in the least year or so, probably since I've moved to San Francisco, as to I probably started to consume more food than my body needed and it was out of sync. I'd often feel full and never hungry but would continue to eat figuring my metabolism would appreciate it. I probably gained about 7ish pounds during this time. Not horrible, but not great. Decreasing food consumption has led me to remember what it feels like to be hungry again. I also just have had less of an appetite for a variety of reasons.
• More doing of the things I love - Including seeing people I haven't seen in ages, spending time with family, visiting museums, watching movies, experimenting with photography, writing, going to concerts, etc.
• Not drinking excessively - I've had about 2 drinks in the past month. I've essentially cut out all alcohol, similarly to how I did for the years I was losing weight. It saves cash and you can feel better about yourself the next day. :)
• Spending time with myself - Sounds lame, I know. I've actually done quite a few things independently mainly because I still would do something even if I couldn't find someone who would also enjoy going.
• Saying No More - I always thought I had to say "Yes" to things. I later realized I didn't. My natural instinct was to then have an excuse as to why I didn't say "Yes." I also then realized, that I don't have to have one. "No" should simply be enough.
• Stop with the social networking, or at least use it more for what its purpose is for - I went 3 weeks without using Facebook. People actually asked me if I was okay. I guess it did come off as a shock to some. I focused on writing instead. I did sync my Posterous blog with a few social media sites (blogger, twitter, etc.) but I strategically left it off Facebook. I don't want my inner most thoughts being spread that thin. I even had one of my friends who works at Facebook say to me -- "Really Will? You're using Posterous over Facebook? You do know we have notes and filters." I then thought... why? This really isn't for others in so much if others choose to read my writing, great. Why use a platform that actually spreads it widely to people who actually know me?
• Think more critically about what I want in the next 3-5 years - I think most people hit their "peek of passion" as I like to call it when they graduate college. Bright eyed - thinking they can conquer the world - and then reality sets in. Passion for things one loves often wains over time --- mainly because our minds get clouded in one way or another. The longer you can hold on to the "peek of passion," I think the happier one is. Not to say you can't get it back, but many times it takes a painful reality check for it to happen. Thus, I've begun to think more about what drives my passion and how I can leverage that in the upcoming years.

After all of the above changes, I physically and mentally feel better. At one point, I should figure out the spiritual piece as well.

A few funny things happened the last few days with respect to outward appearance. People haven't physically recognized me. Really. I can't even remember the last time someone has said something about that to me --- probably 2007 or early 2008? After the shock of seeing a 300 lb guy turn into a 180 lb guy.

A couple of days ago, I was out with my roommate Greg and he turned around and said, "Will?... Will?" I thought to myself -- "What?... What?" Greg later confessed to me last night that he didn't recognize me at first and pondered, "Who's that guy? He's cute." Thus the "Will?" was a moment of shock after Greg realized it was his roommate he was looking at.

Also last night my friend Kevin's ex, Andy, had a similar experience in so far as he turned around, turned back and did a double take. He later said, "Will. I didn't recognize you. What a studly guy."
Now outwardly, I don't think much has changed physically with me. I appear a bit tanner, have a wee bit of scruff, and my hair is slightly longer than how I'd normally have it. Other than that, I can't think of anything else. But what would cause people to not recognize me?

Now I'm curious as to whether all of the changes above have had a shift in outward appearance? I've generally focused on exercise for that in the past. But the fact I'm doing less of it... what could possibly be leading to a change in outward appearance to make people not recognize me?

In the end, It's natural to have ups and downs --- but I have to remember to keep it from going to extremes. When you remove yourself for a bit --- even for just a little while --- it gets people to actually think about you more. People would wonder what you've been up to as opposed just being fed information about yourself from a website.

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A Mom's Influence on Health

I took a lunch off-site today and went to Panera Bread in Millbrae.

When I sat down at my table, I saw a mom (who happens to be Asian) with her two kids -- one boy and one girl. I'd guess they were probably in the 6-10 year old age range.

The kids were both eating soup from large Sourdough Bread bowls. The mom sat down and said -- "White bread isn't as good for you because it's not natural and removes grains." The little boy said "Why does that matter?" The mom's response was along the lines of "Because fiber and grains are good for you. They also have less calories."

I thought to myself --- My mom talked this way to me when I was younger too. But her explanation didn't resonate with me. The mom's answer from above was designed for adults by adults. Why would a kid care about whole grains? The boy was absolutely right.

Nutritional information isn't easy for kids to understand. The mom's information from above is also somewhat misleading in that the caloric difference isn't really an issue as is so much 1. The Fiber Content (which makes you full an helps your regulate your digestive system) and 2. It's natural --- not processed. Processed food is easier to consume (think baby food vs. eating an apple) and therefore easy to consume a greater number of calories in a shorter period of time.

Her conversation then went in a math direction where she asked her kids what the difference in time would be to get to their Grandma's house via walking vs. driving if it were 13 miles and the car went 60 MPH. I admire the mom for teaching her kids good values and making them think. I just think there is a much better way (of which I haven't quite figured out yet) to get kids to absorb nutritional information.

My youth was robbed due to processed foods, fast food and poor eating habits. I'll be damned if I let another generation go through that.

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