Not Quite Myself

I'm still trying to figure out why I broke down last week. Think Mariah Carey, but the gay male version and chop that in half. I can't quite pinpoint where all the stress came from --- lack of sleep, work stress, life stress, no-vacation stress, etc.

I can honestly say I was depressed for quite some time... maybe two to three months. I don't remember a time where I felt like that since early college.

Good news is that on Friday (4/11!) I felt something magical. And no, don't insert a penis joke there. But, I can honestly say I feel like myself again. Maybe it had to do with the gorgeous Nor Cal weather. Maybe not. But it felt good.

Now what do I mean by 'myself'? It's something pretty trivial. If I'm not feeling like myself, I tend to become very shy, less vocal and not open up. Think the personality of a boring straight man.

Now it's funny. I know people had to have noticed, especially those close to me. It was one comment about a month ago that made me internalize something was a bit off. Bill T., my coworker/friend, said 'You know Will? You're pretty quiet these days.' My response? 'I think I'm just getting older and more calm.' That was complete B.S. But that's because I didn't quite want to accept something was wrong.

All I hope is that I'm myself from here on out... because the world doesn't need another boring straight man.